This is what women want (Arthurian myth holds the answer)

(transcript)

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Episode Transcript:

Lian (00:00)

Hello my beautiful mythical old souls and a huge welcome back. What do women want? The age old question. Well, what if it's something only women themselves can choose and what if that could change everything? In this episode, I share the soul stirring story of Dame Ragnell and Sir Gawain from Arthurian legend.

Each month going forward, I will share another mythical tale of this kind, each one a spell, a memory, an invitation. These aren't tales to analyse or consume. They're here to be felt, stirred, remembered as magical doorways into your own soul. I first hold this one live with our beloved community in Unio, our Academy of the Soul, where we continue to journey with it more deeply through a month long quest.

If you found this story soul-stirring and you'd like to join us for the next one I tell and the mythical quest that follows, you can find out more at bemythical.com slash unio.

So this story of Dame Ragnell and Sir Gawain is one of the most evocative and surprising in Arthurian tradition. A riddle threatens a king's life. A monstrous woman names her price and a knight, Sir Gawain, offers what no one else dares. The question sounds simple.

What is it that women most desire? But the answer when it comes changes everything. This myth holds up a mirror for us to choose, to honour, and to the transformative power of love that sees beyond appearances.

Are you ready to look into that mythical mirror? If so, let's dive in.

Lian (01:51)

yourselves comfortably and I will begin really allow yourself to be taken on a journey, just as if, for example, we were entering a journey.

If you want to close your eyes, lay down, see this a bit like, you know, the The ancient heritage of being read a bedtime story and let it take us on our journey in our dreams. That's my invitation for you to do in whatever way is right for you now.

King Arthur, once upon a time. 

was riding through the forest with a group of his knights. I like to think that they were off on yet another quest for the Holy Grail, which we all know took place through many quests over many years and many lifetimes, just like for all of us. and on this particular day. King Arthur saw a glorious stag, a huge one, magnificent. And he felt that call to adventure.

that call to really allow himself to be at his edge. And so he said to his fellow Knights, wait there, I will take this one. And so off he went after this stag deeper and deeper into the forest. He kept seeing glimpses and allowed himself to go so far off the beaten path.

He realised he had no idea where he was.

Then instead of the stack, he saw a huge dark figure.coming towards him.

He recognised it as Sir Gromer, not a man he wanted to see, let alone in these lands.

Sir Gromer said, you've wronged me. You've given my land, these lands, to your nephew. Favouring him over me.

I will kill you here today. King Arthur said. I am unarmed. I have no armour. Is this honourable? To strike me here and now? When I have no means to defend myself? and Sir Gromer, angry and menacing and resentful as he was, recognised that code of honour that he could not break. And so he said, I'm going to give you a chance.

I will spare your life if in a year and a day's time you return here with the answer to this riddle.

If you able to return with the correct answer, you'll die.

King Arthur, of course, agreed.

Perhaps he wouldn't have done if he knew what the question was.

So the question Sir Gromer asked him was, is it that women most desire?

The age-old question, what do women want?

But it was too late for King Arthur to ask for an easier riddle, a simpler question. And so he rode off, rode back to Camelot.

He called the round circle together and he shared with his knights what had happened in the forest. And he said, do you know the answer? And he knew without even asking, they didn't know the answer. They all shrugged their shoulders and looked askance. They said, we'll find the answer together. So each of them. went off, rode the land, asking every woman they met. What is it that women most desire? What do you most desire?

And some women said riches. Some women said a handsome husband. Some women said to be left alone to live on the edge of the forest in a hut on chicken feet.

Some women said to bear a child. Some said to be childless.

Every answer was different.

Arthur wrote every answer down, but he could see he didn't have the answer or he wasn't confident he had the answer because they were all so different.

A year later, a day before he was due to return to meet Sir Gromer, he decided to return to the forest. You know, those ways that your soul calls you to do something that makes no sense, but you do it anyway. So he went back to the forest, hoping of course not to bump into Sir Gromer, but hoping somehow, beyond reason, he would discover the answer.

And not long after he entered the forest. There he came upon a woman. If one could call her that.

She had a red face covered with snot. Her mouth was huge and all her teeth were yellow, hanging over her lips. Her bleary eyes were greater than a ball and her cheeks were as broad as a woman's hips. She had a hump on her back and her neck was long and thick. Her hair clotted into a heap. She was made like a barrel with shoulders a yard wide and hanging breasts that were large enough to be a horse's load.

No tongue can tell of the foulness and ugliness of the lady as the story goes.

Her name was Dame Ragnell.

And before Arthur said a word, she said, I know the answer to your riddle, but it comes at a price.

Arthur was taken aback. How do you know that I'm seeking an answer to a riddle? She said, you don't need to worry about that. Tell me, do you want to make a deal?

So Arthur, of course, said yes, his life was at stake. He said, what is it that you want? Recognising this was the same question, he'd spent a year asking every woman he met.

She said, I want to marry and I want to marry that handsome nephew of yours, Sir Gawain. Now Gawain was a beautiful man in every way that a man can be beautiful. He was fair of face, big of heart.

He was probably, if we're allowed to have favourites, King Arthur's favourite. And so of all of the things that Dame Ragnell could have asked for, this was possibly the worst.

So said, I'm going to have to know if this is something that Gawain would choose. I can't choose on his behalf. She said, well, that's up to you. You know, your life depends on it. You come back if he's ready to marry me.

So, so Arthur turned back, rode back to Camelot with a heavy heart. He had the opportunity to get the answer to the riddle and save his life, but what a price, what a price.

As he strode down the halls of Camelot. Sir Gawain met him there and said, Uncle, why so sad?

And Arthur shared with Sir Gawain what had happened in the forest and the hellishly hard bargain that Dame Ragnell had driven. And Sir Arthur told him in the way where he wasn't even really asking Sir Gawain. He couldn't bear to. And yet before he even had the chance to ask him, Sir Gawain said, this lady hold your life in her hands. I will marry her. I will marry her gladly. I will do it with honour. I will do it for you. I will do it for England.

You can, I'm sure, imagine how King Arthur felt simultaneously, filled with love.filled with relief, but also grief, his dear, beloved nephew.

He turned back to the forest, there waiting for him with a smile on her face like she already knew the answer was Dane Ragnell.

King Arthur said, he's agreed, he will marry you. Dame Ragnell said, I know. And she leaned towards King Arthur with two teeth on each side of her mouth, like boars tusks, the span of her hand. One went up, the other went down.

Her wide, foul mouth was covered with grey hairs and her lips lay lumped on her chin. No neck could be seen. Her breath stank like a thousand ferrets. She came close to King Arthur's face and then whispered in his ear. The answer to the riddle.

King Arthur. begrudgingly but still he's a knight he's a king thanked her, turned around, rode back to Camelot, unsure if he had really received the right answer, but he also realised it was probably the best answer he had been given. So the next day he rose, not knowing if he was going to his death or to something else.

He rode back deep into the forest and there was the looming figure of Sir Gromer.

He said, do you have the answer to my question or is this the day you die?

So King Arthur was thinking, well, if one of the other answers I've been given by all of these women that all of my knights have been asking, if one of their answers is right, I can spare Sir Gawain from his fate. So let's start there.

So he gave the first answer and Sir Gromer laughed. So he tried another. and another and another and with each one Sir Gromer grew only happier knowing he had the King's life in his hands.

Sir Gromer, after listening to all of these answers, all of them ridiculous, all of them wrong, all of them showing that King Arthur had no clue what women most desire, he said, prepare to bleed. This is your death day. King Arthur said,

Wait, Sir Gromer, I've got one answer left.

Sir Gromer said, well then, feeling like he had all the time in the day after all.

Give me your last answer and soon your death will be upon you.

So, Arthur gave him the answer that Dame Ragnell had given him.

Sir Gromer's face turned red. He scowled and he said, darn her, my sister would have given you that answer. I can't believe she's done so, but I can't deny the truth of it. You have saved your life. She has saved your life. And he rode away.

So Arthur again was torn. My life is saved. Sir Gawain's isn't. He rode back to Camelot with Dame Ragnell. And you can imagine Sir Gawain's face when he set eyes on his bride-to-be for the very first time. But he did his best to hide it.

Queen Guinevere had the bright idea of let's make this a very quiet wedding. We don't need to throw through the streets. We don't need this to be a big public spectacle. Poor Sir Gawain. Really, you know, let's do our best to make this as kind of inconsequential and as hidden as possible. no, Dame Ragnell said, I want a proper wedding.

I want this to be celebrated all across the land.

And they did. And they were married and they sat down at the wedding feast and her manners were disgraceful. She was belching and farting and drooling and spitting and eating with her mouth open. The whole court was shocked. But Sir Gawain sat by her side with honour.

He had made his choice and he would honour his choice.

That night, they went to the wedding chamber. And Sir Gawain bless him, you know, he has done his best to honour her all the way through the day, but he really was at the point where he's thinking, I can't, I can do no more. He'd got in bed, turned his back to her and was going to go to sleep.

Dame Ragnell said. Will you kiss me, husband? Will you give a kiss to your beautiful new bride?

So Sir Gawain realised he couldn't say no. He had to make good on his vow. And he turned and he kissed her. And in that very moment, her form began to change. Her bent frame straightened, her chin shrunk, her teeth became white, her hair became long.

swirling her skin became smooth.

There before him was a woman of great beauty.

He said, what are you? In the way that men can sometimes say the worst thing. And she said, I am a woman and I was enchanted and you've broken half the spell. But now you must choose. Would you like me to be like this?

Beautiful by day, so all may see the court may no longer pity you. but then in the night, I will return to my old form for you alone. Or would you like me to be like this, beautiful by night, there for you in our bedroom alone, but remain as I was during the day?

What a choice. What a choice Sir Gawain has. He was silent for a long moment.

And then he said,

That's not my choice. The choice is yours, my lady.

At those words, the last part of the enchantment was broken.

Dame Ragnell said, that is what women most desire, sovereignty, the right to make their own choices.

And so she was freed. in body and in will. She was beautiful by day and by night. They lived together in love and honour and joy. Not because he saved her, but because he gave her the freedom to choose.

And of course, they all lived happily ever after.

Lian (21:28)

I hope you loved this mythical tale as much as I do and that it showed you something of the world and your own soul. If you're not already subscribed, I suggest you do so now if you'd like to catch each new story as they're released. And as I said at the beginning, I first shared this story live with our beloved community in Unio, our Academy of the Soul. And we begin each month with a community ceremony in which we gather and we journey with a particular tale, fairy tale, folk tale, myth, legend, together in community in this way. And then that initiates us into a month long quest. If you would like to journey in this alchemical mythical way, again, with others in community, which provides a level of depth and mirroring that really can't be matched in any other way, come join us.

You can find out more at bemythical.com slash unio. Thank you so much for watching. You've been wonderful. I'm sending you all my love. I'll catch you again next week. And until then, go be mythical.

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