Beyond polarity & projection: How to heal your attachment wounds - Serdar Hararovich
Episode 511, released 17th July 2025.
In this week’s show Lian is joined by Serdar Hararovich. Serdar is a Relationship & Secure Attachment Specialist offering integrative, attachment-based coaching and healing. He supports both men and women to heal early attachment wounds, establish inner security, reclaim their deepest self, and cultivate the emotional skills required for deep, soulful, and secure love.
Listen or watch on:
Transcript is here: episode511transcript
Serdar works with a wide variety of individuals - including, but not limited to, therapists, relationship coaches, and other practitioners. The common thread among his clients is a deep desire to go beyond the surface - people tired of quick-fix techniques and oversimplified approaches to healing. Those ready to do the kind of work that awakens their deepest potential - allowing them to master the art of true intimacy and experience the kind of love that transforms everything.
In this episode, Lian and Serdar explore the roots of how we relate, beginning with the early wounds that shape our adult relationships. Serdar shares his own story of growing up with emotional neglect, the drinking and disconnection that followed, and the practical and healing work that allowed him to form deeper, more secure relationships.
Together, they look at the role of corrective experiences in healing attachment wounds, and how both inner work and relational skill-building are essential for intimacy. They discuss the dynamic between the masculine and feminine in healing, and the different experiences that can arise when working with male or female facilitators. From there, the conversation opens into the complex terrain of polarity teachings, how these can support or distort healing, and what happens when identity becomes performative rather than rooted in authenticity.
Throughout the conversation, Lian and Serdar invite reflection on what it truly means to heal, to relate with curiosity, and to understand the impact of gendered conditioning without becoming confined by it. This is a nuanced and compassionate conversation that offers both clarity and challenge.
We’d love to know what YOU think about this week’s show. Let’s carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below.
What you’ll learn from this episode:
Healing requires both inner work and relational skill-building. It's not enough to simply know the theory… we need lived experiences that re-pattern our nervous systems.
Curiosity is one of the core qualities of secure attachment. When we stop assuming and start asking, intimacy becomes possible.
Polarity teachings can offer insight, but without healing first, they risk deepening the mask. The real work is becoming someone who can relate with truth, not performance.
Resources and stuff spoken about:
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Thank you!
Lian & Jonathan